Emotionally focused couples counseling

Since the 1990s, a new science of romantic love and bonding has emerged. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy by Dr. Sue Johnson is based on this new science of love.

We do well when our relationships are good! Because relationship crises are existential crises. A relationship crisis means no longer being emotionally connected, which switches on the threat center of the primal panic in the brain, which in turn activates protective mechanisms. For example: criticism, demanding, clinging,  smoothing things over or shutting down.

Goal of Emotionally Focused Couples Counseling:

• Understand your own and your partner's emotional reactions and (unmet) needs better.
• Being able to dissolve and control negative spirals of interaction that cause emotional pain and distance.
• Being able to shape the positive moments when they reach out and respond, creating a secure bond.
• Recognize your bonding patterns and dissolve blockages so that issues from the past, triggers from other relationships or your childhood no longer have a chance in your relationship.
• Basic aspects of relationship design that you can use to shape the future in a constructive and solution-oriented manner.
• Disclosing emotional hurt so it can be excused and forgiven.

I offer you my cooperation on these topics:

• clarification whether you want to stay together as a couple, one or the other partner is often not quite sure whether he wants to continue working on the relationship.
• The partnership is burdened by infidelity and is therefore called into question.
• Unreconciled emotional hurt leads to withdrawal, despair, grief and helplessness, making the relationship seem broken.
• In the relationship there is no more tender closeness and sexuality that burdens one or both partners.
• The rose-colored glasses of being in love disappear and opposites are fought, which is usually the case at the beginning of a relationship or when the partners have lost sight of each other and live more next to each other than with each other.

• The classic work to find each other again, this requires the will to take a good look, to get involved in the process and to actively work on oneself.
• Reconnecting: How do you know you're ready to deepen your relationship?
• Beliefs and expectations you place on attachment relationships.
• Recognize and stop the vicious cycle of accusation/defense patterns.
• What is the background of difficult emotions like: contempt, hurt, shame, guilt and jealousy.
• Injuries in the relationship: how can we repair the damage? Forgiving the unforgivable.
• Accompaniment to the development of a secure pair bond.
• Prevention work with couples: Even if everything is fine at the moment, which signals should we take seriously so that a crisis does not arise in the first place?

• Family Counseling
• Difficulties in the parent-child relationship
• Difficulties among the siblings / step-siblings
• When children have problems that you are powerless to face
• How can we bond better with our child
• How do we deal with the children in the event of a separation or the death of a close relative
• How do we deal with the children in a patchwork family
• How do you deal with new partners and, if necessary, with their children.
• Single parent or parent don't life with there child facing difficulty in connecting.

"Distance never destroys a relationship.

Closeness never builds a relationship.

It's about the mutual desire to be together

that ties two people in an everlasting bond"

Do you see yourself in any of these themes?

With an emotionally focused couples counseling you take the decisive step to solve your relationship crisis together. In couple counseling I create a framework in which the following is possible:

The partners can express their different needs, fears and concerns and clarify them with my help.This can be the starting point for a process of understanding in which the partners develop a deeper understanding of the conflict dynamics. And the partners recognize their own part in the conflict and appreciate the partner's personality anew. Ideally, this creates a deepened spiritual relationship with more flexibility, tolerance, openness and closeness.

This process creates a new basis for living together (instead of against each other). Together we define the goals for couples counseling and solve the problem areas.

The most important questions in our relationships are: "Are you there for me?" "Am I important to you?" "Can I rely on you?"

What do you need to bring?

The willingness for personal development. The will to reflect, to adapt one's own behavior. Time and commitment outside of sessions for practice and more bonding-focused couple time.

Do you notice the opportunity you take when you start couples counseling?

Before the conflicts become insurmountable and only a separation helps.

To make an appointment, please WhatsApp me on +436642119997 or send me an email to: nicole@emotions-counselor.com

Have you thought about it?

It is quite possible that your relationship problems are also related to your childhood and unresolved experiences. Bonding blocks from childhood are - unfortunately - commonplace and can be resolved. Would you like to find out how you can work them up? You'll find more about it here…

Read here

my articles too "Elixir of Life Love" and "Appreciation"

A summary of EFT Research